I've been wanting to do this for many months, and after a long time of deep thought, I’ve come up with what I want. The reason I’m doing this is because I don’t want there to be a debate saying that “there was not enough evidence, and blah, blah, blah…” What better way for the whole world to know what I want other than the interweb? So now our government can’t say that there wasn’t enough evidence. YOU HEAR THAT GOVERNMENT?!?!?! THE WORLD KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!!! I CAN BEAT THE SYSTEM!!!!!!!!
This is what I want to happen to my body…....
I want to be cremated. I want the book “Burned” from the greatest writer in the world, Ellen Hopkins, to be cremated with my body. Where will my ashes go? EVERYWHERE! That’s right…EVERYWHERE. I want my ashes dumped all over the world. That way I can say that I’ve traveled everywhere. When I mean everywhere, I mean the world. Italy, Austria, Germany, Pacific Ocean, Red Sea, Antarctica, Darfur, Liverpool, EVERYWHERE! This will take some time, so I think it would be easier if my ashes are split with people. People who travel a lot or dream of traveling should have a part of my ashes so they can dump them wherever they go. I will highly appreciate this very much. So whoever takes part in this, thank you.
When I die…....
Instead of a depressing funeral, I want a BIG party! A costume party :) There has to be lots of food and dancing and all that jazz. Whoever does not have a costume is not allowed inside. I want it to be themed “Nightmare Before Christmas.” I don’t want there to be anyone sad about my death. No one should be crying or any of that drama mumbo jumbo stuff. I want everyone to be happy because I have finally left this world, and believe me, I have reached nirvana. The food better be awesome like a possum that likes to blossom. Oh and I would like one of my favorite bands to play. It doesn’t matter what band, just one that I love. Preferably Say Anything, or maybe even Ringo Starr! Just please not Paul McCartney. I don’t really like him very much. Sorry, Paul, it’s the truth. I do request that the song “Wherever You Will Go” by The Calling be played, as well as “This is Halloween” by Marilyn Manson, and “Bitches Ain’t Shit” from Ben Folds. Please note that I do not want a priest or any of that stuff. Nothing religious please, because I don’t believe in that. If this is bothering you, then I am sorry, I just don’t believe in that, and I would like my beliefs to be respected. Thank you.
Who gets what…....
Now I know you guys are all wondering “what am I getting?” Let’s make one thing clear: my money is going to Darfur. Every single penny I have is going over there. I’m sorry to disappoint some of you people out there, but this has been my dream. I’m going to attempt to stop the holocaust going on there, whether I am dead or alive. Now, what does that mean? That means that if I die BEFORE the day of Zero G, I want all the tickets to be returned and all the money to be sent to Darfur. Very few of you are fully aware of who I bought it for, and how much I spent in total. A plethora of you have been bugging me with the questions and now you’re going to find out. Keep in mind, I really didn’t want to say the people who got the tickets, but after much pestering from a lot of you, I am going to say it, and the list of people might even surprise you. I bought tickets for Gio, Chris, Michael, Christina, Jeffrey, Nick, Nick’s girlfriend, Angel, Mimi, Richie, Jamie, Janifer, Jeffry, Sam, an extra ticket for Richie to take a special someone with, Brandon, John, and Jay. For those of you who knew about why I recently got into money problems, this is the reason why. As a sign of gratitude I wanted to give an incredible gift to as many people as I could. As much as it hurts me to disappoint everyone I bought the tickets for, you must take into consideration that the tickets were very expensive, and with returning these tickets my life-time goal will be fulfilled. I spent a little over $140,000 with these tickets. There are only four people who are allowed to keep their tickets if they chose to. They are Gio, Chris, Mike, and Christina. Gio is very much fascinated by space and all of that stuff so that’s why he can keep his. Chris can keep his because he has a big butt and he will be the first person with such a big butt to feel no gravity. It would be a very funny sight to see such a badonkadonk floating around, so he can keep his ticket for everyone’s entertainment. Michael can keep his ticket because he is my “life guru”, my “guardian angel”. He deserves it more than anyone. Christina can keep hers for two reasons. 1) She is A LOT like me. We are very similar, and she is just totally awesome like that. 2) She is Mike’s girlfriend so she gets special treatment for that! J I hope everyone else can understand and not be too angered by my decisions.
Gio- I want you to have your guitar back. Hopefully by then I will have new strings so it won’t be all stinky winky. I also want you to keep Gato Deluxe. Take good care of him and the bunny! You can have the Bartlett’s Book of Familiar Quotations that you bought me, as well as the memory books that I made.
Chris- I want you to take back Marty the Magical Penguin. I remember the first time I met your dad was on the day you gave me Marty. That penguin means a lot to me, and I am very grateful for you giving him to me. That was a really fun day. I also want you to keep my stuffed cow called Moo Moo, and Mr. Teddy. You should know why…. xD If I have a new wakeboard by the time I die, I want you to have it. I also want to give you my book of poems, which is similar to the one that I had given you as a gift, but better. I want you to have my computer so you can look at all the music I have and you can finally be educated with GOOD MUSIC!!!! And last but certainly not the least, The Beatles monopoly board you bought me.....
Angel- I want you to keep my Sega Genesis. It is in great condition, and I know how much you love playing video games. Hopefully by then I will have more games, so you can keep the system with all the games and stuff. I also have written for you a letter, and I would like it very much if you read it…BUT don’t show anyone! “).
Mimi- In my closet right now, I have a box on my stand. In this box there is a lot of things, and they are all for you. I don’t want to tell you what these things are, but they are things we have talked about before and I KNOW for a fact that a few of these things I have put in this box you want, other things are stuff I made that I want you to have.
Michael- Aside from the whole Zero G thing, I want to give you my star wars lunchbox. I fucking love it, so if you ruin it, I will haunt you forever!!!! MUAHAHA!!! Just kidding! There is also this collection of movies I want you to have. Some of which you’ve seen millions of times, others which I know you have not seen but they are very good, funny, and meaningful. I also have a letter written for you, which I hope you will enjoy reading.
Jeffry- I want you too keep my camera. You’re one of the best photographers I know, and no one deserves it more than you do. Have fun with it, and don’t take too many pictures of naked women with it! xD
Mariana- You can have my Nightmare Before Christmas lunchbox! I know how much you love it.
Richie- I want to give you my recipes. Since you are always saying how much you want me to cook for you because I sound like a good cook, I want to show you how I make it. The stuff is not hard, and it comes out very good. I’m also going to give you a book of poems that I set up just for you since you were saying that you wanted to see them. I also want you to have the green lion I made you.
Sam- I want you to have all my books in my book shelf, as well as my zune and the quill pen. I also want you to have the journal you gave me. You can open it up whenever you want, and read all the things I wrote.
Brandon- You can have my Beatles, Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Rolling Stones, and Pink Floyd shirts. You can also have my John Lennon glasses.
Christina- I want you to have my collection of the Ellen Hopkins books. I also wish that you and Michael last for a long time. You two are so adorable together. I love you guys both very much! :)
“Mom”- What you will receive is next to Mimi’s gift inside of a box as well. What is in there, I will not say, I just hope you enjoy the articles.
If I become in a vegetative state…....
I do not want the doctors to “pull the plug” right away. I want everyone to wait exactly one year since the accident. If I still have not recovered by that time, I want someone to get the advice of three different doctors. I want them to ask what the probability of me recovering is and take everything into consideration. If there is a very, very, and I emphasis on very low chance of me waking up, then I want to die. Keep in mind, this has to be said by three doctors. ....
I do have one small, yet odd request. As strange as this sounds to most people, I have given this much thought and I believe this might work. Of course, you might find this as an odd thing for me to want, but I want my wish to go through. If I am in a coma or vegetative state, I want someone to….do it with me. I know it sounds very weird and strange, but what if this was the way for me to wake up? Maybe this is the secret. Who knows? Anything at that point is worth a shot, and I really do think there is a high chance of me waking up. At this point you’re thinking “what the hell is wrong with this girl?!” Well you have to consider the fact that I am in a vegetative state by this point, and I would desperately like to wake up. I hope you can understand with my reasoning, and if you don’t, oh well.....
Thank you for taking your time to read this :)
